Friendship is my first Obsession

This particular post was really hard for me to decide on. When I love something, I LOOOVE it. I’m obsessed with it. Not in a crazy, needs a support group kind of way, but it almost becomes part of my identity. And, you’ll know about it. My obsessions cover pretty much every base there is…and I will talk about them all in time! 

For my first ever Obsessions post, I went back and forth for a ridiculously long time about what you may want to know about first. There were some really obvious ideas such as my favorite leggings, my go-to skin care, must have closet items, decorating or kitchen tools. Maybe none of those even came to mind! Ha! But, one thing kept coming back to me that wasn’t necessarily as obvious.

Friendship. 

Friends: Fight for you. Respect you. Include you. Encourage you. Need you. Deserve you. Stand by you. 

I am absolutely head over leopard heels in love and obsessed with the friends I have surrounding me, and in all areas and spaces of my life. This also includes my family who are also friends. 

I fully believe in the idea that you are as a strong as the people you surround yourself with. They represent a part of who you are. Every single person I call a friend compliments my life in a way that I really need, and because of that person, I  am a better person. Friends are the family you get to pick. I definitely feel like I chose wisely. 

The life I live and lead has taken me all over the world. Being a military spouse has its huge pluses and also a load of sacrifices. Notice that I didn’t say “minuses”. One of the greatest blessings are the deep friendships you make.

You are thrust into communities of people who 1) You’d never meet otherwise 2) At first meeting, you know in a couple of years, their or your moving away will literally break your heart. 

They are forever friendships because we’ve had to go through our own version of “war” together. Often alone for months at a time, only we understand the weight of that and the hardships that are endured. Equally, this also includes the people in the local community you’ve come to know and adore. It’s an amazing life to live, and perhaps because you constantly have a focus on perspective and there is not a lot of room for taking things for granted. 

Among these irreplaceable friendships, are my other forever friends. Childhood, college, post college and also, the incredible women and men,  I’ve met through being a Holy Fit Girl. I like to think that together, we could all literally rule the world. Without every single one of the people I am lucky enough to call my friend, I would be but a tiny fraction of the person I am. 

The friend who tells me the truth no matter what. “Yea girl, that does make your  XYZ look big.” 😉. The friend who picks up the phone on the first ring. The friend who knows my deepest, darkest, saddest secrets and let’s me talk about it openly with unconditional love. The friend who would fly to the moon to visit or be part of something that’s important to me. The friend who literally completes my sentences. The friend who makes me laugh so hard I cry, snort and scream at the same time. The friend who would show up wearing the same outfit I have on. The friend who takes my kid to a movie with hers just because. The friend who finds just as much joy-ish in running 26.2 miles as I do. The friend who will take a trip on a whim because making memories are THE priority. The friend who will let me ugly cry my mascara on her new shirt because she knows I’d let her do the same. The friend that brings me soup at the first hint of being unwell. The friends who are half a world away, literally, but you feel their hugs when they are so needed. The friend who sends a simple text daily to remind you that you’re loved and amazing. The friend who whole heartily agrees that anytime of day is A- OK to have Champagne.

This list could go on for miles. Not because I have miles of friends, but the ones I do have, have miles of amazing qualities and are simply irreplaceable. 

Personally, and unfortunately I’ve had enough major losses in my life to know that life is short. It’s helped put time, energy and love into perspective quickly. It’s important to surround yourself with people who bring value to your life. The effort and energy you put into those friendships should be matched. Of course, not everyone can or will give as much as you do and that’s OK, but the ones who do- hang on tight to them. If you DO have a friendship that is more draining than life lifting, less give and more take, you notice when you speak that they don’t ask how YOU are, or you realize you are not your real self with them…it’s time to take some of your energy back and invest it in the people who give you all of the described above.

It’s OK to love from a distance. Your time, energy and love is meant to be appreciated and enjoyed, not taken advantage of. Trust me, you’ll be OK and so will they. 

Also, super important to note, time and distance do not matter. If it’s important to you, you make it happen. My favorite friendships are the ones that upon getting together it’s as if absolutely no time has passed. Sure it’s been years since that cup of coffee, but today it may as well have been yesterday. THAT, my friend, is a true friendship. Hang on TIGHT to that! 

Life is meant to be lived. It’s meant to be enjoyed and doing that with people who love ALL of you, no matter what, makes the journey of life that much more meaningful AND full. 

Friends: Call them. Send handwritten notes. Show up unexpectedly when you know it would mean a lot. Celebrate your friendship like December 31, 1999 on the regular. Be loud and proud about it!! Life is short. Do the things. Take the trips. Talk so long your ear gets hot on the phone. We don’t get time back and those conversations with your friends, your people, your tribe, they are your lifeline. 

Photo: This gorgeous photo was taken at one of my obsessions wedding. I was her Matron of Honor and also pregnant with Quinn at the time! The women photographed are all women who represent a huge piece of me and super fond memories from college and being a member of Kappa Kappa Gamma Fraternity.

Photo Credit: Pen Carlson Photography

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