Be Grateful for Sh*t Sandwiches!

I’ve come to really enjoy using the expression “Sh*t Sandwich” to describe a situation that just really feels like a raw deal. Sometimes it seems like pure bad luck, or it’s a series of “WTF” kind of events, that lead me to wonder who I’ve ticked off upstairs to keep getting served up a piping hot, figurative sandwich, that really made me feel like throwing in the towel.

Lucky for me, I grew up learning to be tenacious, shown the silver linings, and why it’s important to not give up. Depending on how one would look at it, I was either lucky or unlucky to learn these things through life experiences, and this goes all the way through to today. Literally, yesterday I ate another sh*t sandwich and I’m grateful for it. Let me explain!

I grew up in a loving home with wonderful adventures like camping and trips to the beach most weekends. We lived in North Carolina, just a couple hour drive either direction for fun things. I also grew up in the 80s and early 90s when you could ride your bike until the street lights came on and swam your heart out at the neighborhood pool, or building forts in the woods without a single thought of getting kidnapped. I took long walks to the bus stop and really had no cares in the world. My life as a kid was wonderful until, I had to grow up really quick.

My first sh*t sandwich was served to me when I was 10. My mother was bipolar and also an alcoholic. I didn’t really understand any of it as it was what I knew as “normal”, until she tried to take her own life and I walked in on it and saved her. I remember every detail like it was yesterday. The next several years were filled with rehab visits, trying to pretend as if my home life was absolutely normal, and also being ashamed and confused. My parents divorced when I was 14 and we moved to Ohio where my family still is. I started a new high school as a sophomore. Nobody wants to do that. Another sh*t sandwich, which served me well. I learned how to adapt and also how to make brand new friends which is something I hadn’t really had to do before because I had grown up with my friends. As an awkward 14 year old, this was not an easy thing, but as a 36 year old looking back, I’m pretty proud of that girl.

My list of sandwiches really could go on for a while. Enduring incredible losses at a young age (my mother did pass away from alcoholism just before my son was born when I was 30), postpartum woes, military life and deployments, moving every couple of years and starting with friends and communities, autoimmune diseases, skin cancer…it’s enough to make anyone very bitter and angry. It’s enough probably to let it all define me, and it has!

Let me be cliche for a second. I really, truly, 1000% BELIEVE, that everything happens for a reason. Everything and every experience serves it’s purpose. My buffet of sandwiches, even the ones on shiny silver platters have ALL made me the person I am today.

I’ve learned that no one has a perfect life. It’s just not possible, and honestly, what does that even look like? I’ve learned that other peoples choices are not a reflection on me or my value. I have ALL the power to lead my life in a direction that serves me. My circumstances could define me for the worse, but I’ve made the choice to chew up those sandwiches and spit out a better version of myself after each one. Life is really, really short and if lived right, you only need to live once.

Starting over, whether it’s a new job, a new relationship, friendship, community, church, education…seriously insert anything here…it’s always a blessing in disguise. Almost 100% of the time, we don’t see that until we are well past it. When we go back and connect the dots from where we started to where we are now, a few things happen but these are just a few examples that have crossed my mind after a certain sandwich:

1: “I never saw myself being in this job/life/relationship/state/country 10 years ago. Thank goodness it ended up this way!”

2: If I hadn’t done this ONE thing, I would not have met the love of my life. If I hadn’t taken that ONE awful job, and met that ONE contact, I wouldn’t have the incredible job/life I have now.

3: If I hadn’t gone through that incredibly dark time that I wasn’t sure I’d get out of, ever, I would not have the huge appreciation for the life I have right this minute. I wouldn’t know how capable I really am.

4: If I hadn’t said YES to that “scary” opportunity that I was sure I’d fail at, and then didn’t, I know I wouldn’t feel confident in trying new things.

5: If I hadn’t have grown up with a parent with addiction and mental illness, would I be as a committed to living my life as well as I am now? Would I be able to recognize toxic situations and relationships AND be able to get out of them, or distance myself? Would I be able to forgive and forget? Love unconditionally?

Would I KNOW that I could eat a huge sh*t sandwich, and not only survive it but be grateful for it?!

Not everyone is able to separate themselves from what is and seems like a very unfortunate situation. I personally know people, and my mother was one of them, who really truly could not move on or let something go from the past. The energy it takes to hold on to something like anger, is truly immense. I realize that it’s not easy, and it also takes a lot of practice, prayer, personal development and grace. Those things are also not natural for us all. So, if you know you aren’t easily able to find your way to the sunlight, I really want to suggest a few books for you (see at the bottom) that have opened my eyes and heart to brighter days, getting out of my own way, and appreciating ALL the bumps and stumbles in my life.

*This super fuels my fire! Eat that sandwich and move on!*

CALL TO ACTION: Take a moment to reflect on your life a bit and all those times you really wondered WTF was happening and why it seemed to never end. THEN, think about where you are right now and how all of those little sandwiches lead to you this place. THEN, take a moment to pick out the biggest sandwiches and how they’ve also shaped you. Moving forward, look forward to those tasty sandwich’s and know that with each one, you’ll learn something knew, and right before your very eyes, a super strong human will emerge. It’s really quite amazing.

Audrey’s Recommend Books:

“>You’re A Badass by Jen Sincero